After two whole years of intensive focus groups and market research aimed at softening the public image of Scotty From Marketing, it seems the pre-election strategy of 2022 has been to blame the Prime Minister’s wife for every mistake he has ever made.
What was supposed to be a light-hearted 60 Minutes puff piece aimed at winning back suburban voters who think the Prime Minister is actually incapable of critical thought or any form of political instincts, has since turned into 30 long minutes of watching extremely wealthy Christians pretend to be normal people.
Throughout the programme, Jenny Morrison addressed several controversies that have given Australians clear insight into her husband’s eagerness to avoid responsibility and to successfully lead a Federal Cabinet without having his closest allies leaking damning text messages that paint him as a bumbling fool who nobody trusts.
However, when it comes to Morrison’s reputation amongst voters, the elephant in the room is the fact that he decided to flee the country in the middle of one the most traumatic natural disasters in recent memory.
To combat the Prime Minister’s growing reputation as a coward who lies his way out of trouble, Jenny Morrison has apologised on his behalf for their overseas holiday during the devastating 2019-2020 Black Summer bushfires that resulted in close to 500 Australians dying from immolation and smoke inhalation.
On top of the tragic death toll, the climate-changed aided bushfires also saw 84 million acres across the country burnt to the ground, with over a billion native animals perishing while Scotty and Jenny drank pina coladas on Waikiki beach.
Scotty has said previously he followed through with the holiday because he had made a promise to his wife and daughters that not even the tragic deaths of Australia’s brave firefighters would get in the way of their God-given right to holidays in an extravagant overseas resort.
Jenny From HR said she was “more than sorry if we disappointed” in the decision to leave the country during the bushfire emergency.
“I thought I was making the right decision for my kids. I obviously was wrong.”
“But I can’t change it”.
It is not known how Scotty’s marketing team came to the decision that this would be the best way to brush this scandal under the bridge, and whether or not Jenny will be making another appearance for the duration of the 2022 Federal Election campaign.
But one thing is for certain, Jenny DOES not appreciate when child abuse survivors refuse to smile in front of her husband.