Are we the only ones noticing that BNXN and Ruger only fight when one of them wants to drop music?
Get a solo hit then talk to me fatty bum bum
— da Ruger gon screw u🔫🏴☠️♎️ (@rugerofficial)
With new music dropping left and centre these days, Nigerian artists are doing the most to grab our attention these days.
If you think fighting is extra, wait until you read some other ways Nigerian artists trick us into listening to their music.
Claim to be the best in the game so fans can argue
Wizkid has done it, Davido does it once in a while and Burna Boy does it every three to five business days. Claiming to be the best, knowing fully well that your career is built on autotune, is a sure way of attracting all the stan groups to come and defend their faves. By trying to insult and drag you, they’ll end up giving you the visibility you need.
Look for other artists to fight with because violence is sweet
If there are two things Nigerians like, it’s amebo. To capture our attention, you must combine both of them stylishly, and the only way to do that is to cause drama by fake fighting on the TL. From Victony and Omah Lay’s pretend fight to Buju and Ruger’s monthly fights, everyone is doing it. Get on board!
Pray and fast that a messy tweet from your past shows up so you can be temporarily cancelled
Cancelling has become one of the quickest ways to blow. The moment the internet decides to drag you like Tiger gen based on something you said or did, everyone starts trying to catch up with the gist. Before you know it, you’ve become a hashtag, and people start streaming your music either out of curiosity or spite. It doesn’t make sense, but I guess it is what it is.
Ask Korty if she has free time to gist with you
Korty recently said she’s the goat of YouTube, and if that whole African Giant thing worked for Burna Boy and got him a Grammy, then yes, sis, talk your shit! As the goat of YouTube and Gen Z content creation, Korty should also be on your “How to Blow” list. Make a video with her, pretend to be into some weird shit like cooking based on astrology, and watch the internet eat you up like plantain.
Visit the nearest MFM for anointing and night vigil
It doesn’t matter if your song is about how all power belongs to someone’s bum bum, you still need the support of the Holy Spirit for your song to blow. Remember, what God cannot do doesn’t exist. Find the nearest Bible-believing church and start kabashing ASAP!
Backflip and summersault until you come up with a viral dance move
Having a good song is important, but having viral TikTok dance is important-er. Argue with the Gen Zs who are running the world right now.
Post a chat screenshot of how you got a feature
Do you think getting people like Wizkid or Olamide on your song is easy? You have to tension everyone with screenshots of these icons telling you that you’re the next big thing. You need us to know you’re not on our level.
Post screenshots of your Apple Music and Spotify rankings
How else will people listen to your music if you don’t show them that other people are also listening to it? Quick maths, bro.
Post image or video of yourself in the studio
As an artist, you must remind everyone that the grind didn’t start today. Before dropping your album, a dimly lit studio picture or video filled with smoke everywhere is compulsory for the TL. The best caption that goes with this post? “Something is cooking *insert flame emoji*”